Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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