North Korea, Best Korea!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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