I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
