did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
