the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
