Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
