i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize