I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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