i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
how drunk are you?
Several
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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