why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
