yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
