I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
