i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
