what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
