I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
