she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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