Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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