Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
