I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
