Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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