You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just google imaged poop.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
