Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
