member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
