Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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