i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
