During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
