I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
