would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
