my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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