those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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