I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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