How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
