I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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