Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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