In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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