i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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