I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
