I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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