u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
