Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
