Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Boobs speak an international language.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
