One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
