You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
