Barsexuality is the new black.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
