remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
