The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
