Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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