Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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