yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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