Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
