so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
