I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
