I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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