ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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