Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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