This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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