no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
