Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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