Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
