Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
