She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
