Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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