eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
