i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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