I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
