she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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